From the Author
When Ellen was pregnant with our first son, Jacob, we decided to write two wish lists: the first was a list of what we wanted for our new child and the second was a list of what we hoped for ourselves as we raised our new child. If this exercise revealed conflicts between the two columns, we could clear them up before active parenting duty began. We defined successful parenting as the ability to execute the wishes on both lists.
Here’s what we put on our first list: To be a happy child. To learn to take responsibility for his or her actions. To be a kind and sharing person. To always give the maximum effort to whatever he or she chooses to do. To achieve his or her ultimate potential. To understand that a bad action does not make him or her a bad person, just a good person who has done a bad thing. To love and respect nature and Mother Earth. To realize his or her uniqueness and to celebrate that uniqueness and the uniqueness of others as representing each person’s special genius. To understand that all men and women have equal rights. To have a lifelong joy of learning. To ensure personal fulfillment by putting others before self.
And here’s what we put on our second list: Never to be held hostage by our child’s misbehaviour. To spend maximum and valued time with our child. Whenever possible to take our child with us to cultural events (movies, concerts, plays, etc.). To have our child experience our friends by physically being in their presence. With discretion, to have our child share in our total life experience. To be always aware that there are no bad children, only bad actions. To have as little crying and as much laughter as possible. To make the act of parenting a fulfilling experience. To prepare our child for a future that might not include us.
At first we felt intimidated. Our menu of goodies was grandiose. Could we deliver all of the items on our wish list? Did we have the knowledge, ability, and tools to do so?
We have used the Perfect System in raising our two boys. For us, the outcome has been spectacular. You could say that our outcome was predictable, because the methods and techniques we used to raise our children were perfect. They are perfect because the laws of the Perfect System are perfect. This is not a statement of arrogance. It is a statement of fact. The physical laws of the universe (the Perfect System) are irrefutable and so in their very essence are perfect.
We believe that the Perfect System will give you the insights and tools you need to develop, and celebrate, harmony and order in your family’s life.